Cinderella

I know I talk a lot about the ways my life has gone wrong, and it may be easy to get the idea that my life was nothing but torture for me, but there were many many good times that I haven't written about yet. It's not that I don't want to its just that the scary parts stand out more than the times that I smiled I guess. Anyways, rest assured, there was a time when I was a very happy little girl and that time is not at all lost upon me.

In many ways I grew up with a normal American childhood. I learned to ride my bike, I was involved with sports from a young age, swimming, baseball, basketball etc. I shared a room with my sister and played Barbies, and of course watched cartoons in the mornings. I loved Mickey Mouse and his friends, and enjoyed watching other classics like the Pink Panther, Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, Flintstone's, The Jetson's and Under Dog. Aside from cartoons we watched movies too. We watched old live action movies, CGI, claymations... but honestly, the ones I remember the most would have to be the Disney animations.

One movie Disney is famous for is Cinderella. I don't really know why since they didn't do a particularly good job, but you will have to admit, almost every little girl you will meet will have watched Disney's Cinderella. I of course watched that Cinderella movie too but you may be surprised to know that my fairy tale education did not stop with one multi-million dollar company's interpretation of said stories. Mom bought different versions of different fairytales and we watched them all. We had books too of course (like Grimm's) but I remember the movies the most. My absolute favorite fairytale movie was one live action Cinderella movie where the step sisters were hideous, cruel, pale red heads and Cinderella was a breathtakingly gorgeous black girl with a beautiful, vivid, dazzling blue dress. I remember watching that movie twice over in the same night one time! I loved it so much and I loved her. It's been years since I have watched that version of Cinderella. I have no idea who the actor was or what the name of the movie was. Even better, one time my parents took me to see a Cinderella play!

Flarp

Three months ago it was Christmas. Now, from this first sentence you may think that this story is going to have something to do with Christmas, and you wouldn't be entirely wrong, but you're not right either. This story in fact, is only tenuously connected to all the holiday cheer, presents, Christmas parties... So maybe I should choose a different opening sentence, but I've already made it this far so I am going to stick with it.

                                                               "Lihya, that was a toot."

Three months ago we opened our larger than average stockings and were not surprised to find our traditional, crackers, cheese, and sausage in addition to about a quart of peanut butter cups at the the toe. I was however, surprised and delighted to find a small cylinder of gooey pink Flarp. I was sent into a fit of laughter and tears even began to squeeze out of my eyes. I couldn't contain myself. My face turned red from lack of air as I immediately opened up the little putty toy and began playing with it. I made such a spectacle of myself that my mother began laughing uncontrollably and the tears came squeezing out of her eyes too.

Why in the world would such a silly play thing, you may ask, invoke such an outrageous reaction? I don't rightly know but let me tell you a story about Flarp.

Sunday School: Job

Yesterday during Sunday School there was a lot to think about.

We are going through the book of Job so I knew there were going to be a lot of things that would hit me personally... but today I was just blown away on how seamlessly all of this fits into my own story.

The one thing that I remember the most, (I wish I took notes!) is the fact that even though Job did not reject God he was still not able to see God. Job desperately wanted to see his Lord but he just could not. If you have a background similar to mine you will right away understand the significance of this statement.

The Wizard of Oz

NOTE: This was written several months ago. I think even before we met the boys.

When I was very young we were at some friend’s house. A movie about the Wizard of Oz was put in and we youngsters did not sit still and watch it. Everyone was very wiggly including me. I was at the most four years old. I was annoyed with the other children because I couldn’t hear what Dorothy was saying or the Lion or the Tin Man. I sat close to the television and pressed my ear against the speaker. I couldn’t see but at least I could hear. Eventually the travelers made it to the Emerald City. There were scary adventures and some happy times too, I don’t remember much about it. I do know though, that was the day I fell in love with the Land of Oz.
                Some years later a remake of the Wizard of Oz movie came out and it was very popular. McDonald's began including dolls of the characters in the happy meals. Every Wednesday on the way to piano lessons we would stop at a McDonald's that was right next to a green BP gas station. We didn’t normally buy happy meals but since Mom knew I liked the Wizard of Oz so much she bought me the happy meals and I collected the dolls. I got the Tin Man, Dorothy, a flying monkey, and Glinda the Good. I was disappointed that they stopped giving out the dolls before I could collect them all.

Late Nights

Sometimes the words just won't come. Sometimes thoughts don't either. I lay in my bed and nothing makes sense. I lay there and so many ideas flit by. Like a butterfly, beautiful unique, so delicate; it alights upon a flower for just a moment and then moves. Sometimes it stays though, but you are so concerned with how long it will stay that you don't even take time to trurly appreciate it. My thoughts are butterflys and all I can do is watch them fly by, they are not my own and I just observe.

I am overwhelmed with confusion.

But I'm not lost.

It's a comfort to know where I stand - to know that these questions (Whatever they are) won't seperate me from God - to know that He welcomes questions; because He longs to answer them.

Still these faceless thoughts will torment me. If only I could get a hold of them, then maybe I could sort them out. The butterflies flutter away from me leaving me stuck in this tossing abiss of raw ideas and emotions. Formless, shapeless, endless....

Sometimes I really don't think me being an insomniac is that far fetched of an idea.

Times like this is when I turn to music and fill my head with someone elses words. Is this a good thing? I don't know. Maybe I should turn to my Bible and fill my head with God's words.

Hello 2015,

I am excited to meet you!

This past year has been such an eventful year. I think I say that every year but it's true.

I don't use the web cam option on my computer that much but, I have to admit, it is pretty cool

Here are some questions:
What is the most memorable thing that has happened in 2014?
What is the biggest thing you have overcome this past year? what have you learned?
What are you looking forward to most in 2015?
What are you planning to accomplish in the upcoming year? what is your New Year's resolution?

Christmas Tree Farm 2014

As a little girl the anticipation for our Christmas tree was almost immeasurable. In fact it was, because I don't think anyone has invented a way of measuring anticipation. The point is, getting our Christmas tree, putting up decorations around the house, and watching Daddy and Mama stringing lights outside was one of my favorite things about Christmas.

For the tree all four of us kids would follow Mom and Dad to the attic where we would crowd around the base of the rickety ladder (I was always afraid it would break) and watch the top half of Dad disappear into the dim space. On this one day the attic was no longer a forsaken creepy spawn for all the monsters we would make up and scare each other with. On this one day the attic was a place full of delightful surprises and forgotten toys - so of course we would always clamor for Dad to take us up with him. And sometimes he would!

Watching from below the wait was unbearable. I am sure it would have been much easier for Dad to send us away so he could bring down the tree without being pestered and without worrying that he would step on one of us on the way down or drop the long skinny box with all the branches in it on our heads. BUT, I am glad he didn't because I will always treasure these memories.