Here is an unpublished post from about a year ago.
The last time I came here to write on my blog I was writing in a state of despair and confusion. I was desperately gripping onto my hope in Yahweh even though I couldn't see an answer to my struggles. I honestly felt at that time that I couldn't go on. I felt as if I was about to fall off the edge, that I wouldn't be able to finish my degree. I was feeling the weight of problems that weren't entirely my own but could find no way to shake them. Little by little I was being crushed and more and more I had been locking myself away from the world. When my friends asked me to hang out I made excuses in order to keep alone. The pressure of being okay and happy around them was often too great. Of course, during this time there were moments when I showed my weakness and each time my friends were there to pick me up. I am eternally grateful to them for standing by me. Despite that, however, I continued to feel alone. It was at this time that God showed his mercy in my life and rescued me again. He never fails me.
God sent someone wonderful into my life and through him He has shown me His great love for me. Just when I was going to break he strengthened me. Just when I doubted myself the most - going crazy with the idea of not being able to help the people I loved - he believed in me and gave me the confidence in myself that I could go on. I am constantly being reminded now that God will never give me something that, with faith, I cannot endure. On my own I know I would utterly be overtaken but in Him I will always find a strong fortress. I knew all of these things before. I knew it. But I couldn't see it. I was the man crying out, "Lord I believe, help my unbelief!" and now I can see again. I am trusting in Yahweh not just because of trust in His faithfulness in the future, but right now, in the middle of all the mess, He is showing Himself to me in this very moment. It is incredible. My Father knew that I needed help and so he sent it. He knew I needed someone that I could talk to at any moment in the day, about anything on my mind, and He brought me that person.
I was talking to my friend this morning about grocery shopping, finals, and God's faithfulness to us. I told her,