The Bigness of Life

[I don't remember when I wrote this, obviously during the summer, but it has sat around in my drafts for quite a while. I find my thoughts then still ring true with my thoughts now so I will post it, even if it is belated.]


Over the past two months, I have started to realise just how big life is. Well, I suppose I started to have an inkling of it when my dad had his heart attack, when the house burned down, and when my baby brother was born - but it is now in the quiet lull of business yet to come and business past that I have thought about it much.

Yes there is much to life. Rain, sun, plants, bugs, animals, crop failures and successful crops. There are silly games to be played, times for serious thinking. There are the chores to do, and then of course friends to hang out with and have fun with. There are the big things in life, and then the small.
And what about the future? What is going to happen? Who will I marry, how many children will I have? Will I be a good mother, a good wife? Am I going to marry? Will I write a book someday? Where am I going to live - what about my dream home up in the mountains with a little herd of goats and a garden? I am afraid one of my weaknesses is wondering about the future.

Fall Festival, Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving, Bike Ride, and Nature Trail

November, 2012

Grandma's church as an event every year that they call the Fall Festival. My sister and I went with Grandma to help out.



I worked at the craft table,

and my sister helped at the lemonade stand.

While we were there my sister and I made friends with this little gem of a girl. :)

 

It was a long day and when it was all finished we brought home FIFTEEN pumpkins!

 

The pumpkins require a post all to themselves. I've been having fun experimenting with different ways to use pumpkins.

The church was going to throw them away to make way for Christmas decorations so we just took them all home. :) So far we've used five. Eaten two, and gave three away.

The Beach, the Bay, and Crabs

So, where were we?

We were moving happily along in or plans for heading to Belize when God rudely interrupted us and sent us reeling. What was He thinking?

I say He was thinking up a might good plan. Now that He has taken our focus off of Belize, (even if it was a painful removal) I can't exactly say we know for sure what we are looking at now, but none the less things are going on and at a right steady pace. Let me see if I can catch all y'all up on our life.

If I recall correctly, my older brother is still with us at this point in our story. We got the call from Dads work while we were in Louisiana. We continued on to Texas where we picked up my older brother stayed there for a few days with friends then instead of going across the border we turned around and returned to Louisiana for a week. From there back to Alabama to my Grandma. My big brother stayed in Alabama for a week before returning to Arizona.
The Latter Part of October

Here are a few shots from our first week in Alabama.


Hehe, haha, My big brother had his graduation party from high school at Grandma's that week. Here's baby chowing down on the graduation cake. :)

Remembering Grandpa

I've been thinking about my grandpa tonight. He passed away over a year ago now. November 14, 2011. I was thinking and I realized that I didn't write anything about him on the one year aniversary of his death. It's not because I don't miss him, I do. The first week or so after his death I struggled with feelings of hypocrisy. I didn't cry, I slept fine at night. (Although if I took a nap in the day I would dream of the funeral and wake up drained and not refreshed.)  It took me a while to realize that I didn’t have to have extreme outward signs of distress to grieve.

I didn’t write about him and I didn't STOP on that day, one year later, and think about Grandpa. I thought about him yes, even tried to write about him, but I was doing my school or going out on the river. That day I did not feel like writing about him. It is not an obligation to write about him, yet many people do write about their loved ones on the day of their passing away.  I do not like to write unless I have the writing feeling. It just didn’t come that day. I tried to make it come but it wouldn’t so I left well enough alone.

Now I do have the writing feeling.

We are Not Moving to Belize

photo credit

It was while we were in Louisiana that my dad got a call from work. His boss said that he couldn't let my dad go to Belize and work there. So that was the end of it. All in one phone call. All of our plans, work, and time we put into it, more than a year, all of our expectations, hopes, desires, and as we felt our duty, were all put to nothing in one phone call.

I notised my parents acting a little fishy and I wondered what was up. Mom told me we were going to stay with our friends for another day. Okay, yipee another day. I was definetly not looking forward to saying goodbye so postponing our departure was very good news for me. But I still wondered what was going on. The next day our parents told us. I was very dissapointed.

We decided to stick with our plans and to continue on to Texas

Texas



Sunday - Thursday, October 14 - 18
We had fun in Texas visiting with friends. Here are some pictures of our time there.

One day we took a trip into Dentin. We breezed through the court house, stopped at a coffee shop, browsed through a second hand book store, and went gold digging in a thrift store. (We found quite a few gems but were low on space and didn't take any back)

Court House

Because I have a fascination for crooked pictures...

They turned the old court house into a museum. A new one was built in another part of the city.

I just love these old fashioned kitchens. I want one like this in my own house some day. Well almost, maybe I'd like a liiitle more counter space. ;)

Alabama: Part Two

Sunday, October 7

we went to Grandma's church. I've sorta grown up there. We visited often over the years and I remember playing on the play ground, making a friend there which I kept through the years because we visited often enough.

I love playing the piano in that building. The sound just wells up in there and fills the whole room. I could play for hours upon hours in that building. I love going in there when nobody else is around and just singing and playing to my hearts content. Sacred and solemn, joyful, beautiful, sad, confusion and turmoil, peace and contentment, praise. Playing on that piano in that room, I can make the music speak.