Tonight I Sit

Insomnia. I'm not sure if I have it or not but sometimes, like tonight, even though I am sleepy, I can't seem to fall asleep.

I tossed and turned in my bed. I curled up into a tiny ball. I hugged my pillow so tight that the feathers were about to burst. I talked to my sister. (One of the perks of sharing a room. Also one of the drawbacks if you are the one sleeping and your sister is the one who can't.) I got down from my bed and did some sit-ups in the middle of the floor. Finally I announced to my sleepy roommate that I was going outside to listen to some music.

Conveniently, I took a picture of this honeysuckle blossom a few nights ago. I can say that it is supposed to represent the sweet thoughts that came to me out of the dark night. ;)

As quietly as possible I opened the cantankerous piece of wood that we call a door and slipped out into the muggy Florida night. The air was heavy and the bugs were thick. I picked my way across the driveway to the sidewalk, being careful not to step on any toads, and sat myself down in the broken beach chair that was abandoned there after our last trip to the lake. Of course, because my hair is so thick and long and crazy, in the short amount of time it took me to get out there my earphones got all tangled up in my unruly locks. After extracting the wires from my hairy mess I was finally able to turn my music on.

All Sorts of Waters - Wild Beach Pictures

We went to the beach yesterday and that is what inspired me to write about all the different kinds of waters I've been to. I took pictures too so I'll be working them in throughout the text even though its not directly related.

I've had a pretty eclectic experience when it comes to growing up with different kinds of waters. Our family has always been active and my parents made a point to take us as many places as they could.

One of those places was the mountains. Mom and Dad would take the four of us kids (this was long before Jubal was born) on weekend camping trips so often that we practically didn't have time to put our sleeping bags away. We lived in South Carolina at the time so went to the Smokey Mountains, which is at the tail end of the Blue Ridge Mountain range. The drive was part of the adventure and I remember being able to recognize the roads because we went that way so often. Up there in the clouds we would go on hiking trips or playing in the freezing cold mountain streams, sliding down slippery rocks or standing underneath pounding waterfalls and swimming in the pools formed below them.

When we weren't in the mountains we would go to the lake. There was a lake called Lake Hartwell (we called it Lake Cartwheel) that we frequented. Once we had a bonfire there with some friends and Uncle Mike melted the souls of his shoes and my friend Emily swallowed a fish and got sick. Someone else got their fishing line stuck in a tree. Once time I went walking along the red clay shore a long ways from the group an found an old log and some dog poop. Other lakes we visited were Lake Jocassee and Lake Keowee which were much bigger and colder. I remember some kind of party at one of these big lakes. We went boating and water skiing and I almost lost my goggles. Another time I went with my friend for her birthday to Lake Keowee. There was a low rock cliff face, probably about thirty feet, and at the foot of the cliff a shallow shelf of rock just beneath the water . At the top of the cliff blue lines were painted on the rock and if you ran and jumped far enough out you would miss the rocks below and land safely in the icy cold water. I was there with my friend and her brother and their dad said he would give us a dollar if we would jumped off. Of course a dollar was a substantial sum of money in my mind back then so quick as a wink I ran through the blue lines and launched myself into the air. The fall was thrilling and folks cheered me when they saw my head bob up from the lake below. My friend and her brother were too scared and eventually their Dad said he would give them five dollars so they jumped too. I was mad at my friends because they got more money than me.

Flarp

Three months ago it was Christmas. Now, from this first sentence you may think that this story is going to have something to do with Christmas, and you wouldn't be entirely wrong, but you're not right either. This story in fact, is only tenuously connected to all the holiday cheer, presents, Christmas parties... So maybe I should choose a different opening sentence, but I've already made it this far so I am going to stick with it.

                                                               "Lihya, that was a toot."

Three months ago we opened our larger than average stockings and were not surprised to find our traditional, crackers, cheese, and sausage in addition to about a quart of peanut butter cups at the the toe. I was however, surprised and delighted to find a small cylinder of gooey pink Flarp. I was sent into a fit of laughter and tears even began to squeeze out of my eyes. I couldn't contain myself. My face turned red from lack of air as I immediately opened up the little putty toy and began playing with it. I made such a spectacle of myself that my mother began laughing uncontrollably and the tears came squeezing out of her eyes too.

Why in the world would such a silly play thing, you may ask, invoke such an outrageous reaction? I don't rightly know but let me tell you a story about Flarp.

Late Nights

Sometimes the words just won't come. Sometimes thoughts don't either. I lay in my bed and nothing makes sense. I lay there and so many ideas flit by. Like a butterfly, beautiful unique, so delicate; it alights upon a flower for just a moment and then moves. Sometimes it stays though, but you are so concerned with how long it will stay that you don't even take time to trurly appreciate it. My thoughts are butterflys and all I can do is watch them fly by, they are not my own and I just observe.

I am overwhelmed with confusion.

But I'm not lost.

It's a comfort to know where I stand - to know that these questions (Whatever they are) won't seperate me from God - to know that He welcomes questions; because He longs to answer them.

Still these faceless thoughts will torment me. If only I could get a hold of them, then maybe I could sort them out. The butterflies flutter away from me leaving me stuck in this tossing abiss of raw ideas and emotions. Formless, shapeless, endless....

Sometimes I really don't think me being an insomniac is that far fetched of an idea.

Times like this is when I turn to music and fill my head with someone elses words. Is this a good thing? I don't know. Maybe I should turn to my Bible and fill my head with God's words.

Hello 2015,

I am excited to meet you!

This past year has been such an eventful year. I think I say that every year but it's true.

I don't use the web cam option on my computer that much but, I have to admit, it is pretty cool

Here are some questions:
What is the most memorable thing that has happened in 2014?
What is the biggest thing you have overcome this past year? what have you learned?
What are you looking forward to most in 2015?
What are you planning to accomplish in the upcoming year? what is your New Year's resolution?

Singing with Baby

He loves it when I sing this for him. It always changes because he asks for different things. The song started out being only about what we saw when we went on a walk but then he started wanting to sing about boats and his friends. He is a cutie. At the end you might notise him pointing to the keys. That is because he wants me to sing and he is pointing to the the cracks in between the keys because he wants me to sing about that.

Zippidy Doo Da

Lately I have really, really been enjoying my life. This stop in Florida (I am still a bit cautious to presume I know how long) has given me some time to breath. I think of it as a longed for oasis in the middle of a wilderness. While travelling through the wilderness God gave me the ability to endure it but now that we've gotten to this place of rest I don't ever want to leave it. If we must go on we must, but I just think I am in paradise right now.

The Bigness of Life

[I don't remember when I wrote this, obviously during the summer, but it has sat around in my drafts for quite a while. I find my thoughts then still ring true with my thoughts now so I will post it, even if it is belated.]


Over the past two months, I have started to realise just how big life is. Well, I suppose I started to have an inkling of it when my dad had his heart attack, when the house burned down, and when my baby brother was born - but it is now in the quiet lull of business yet to come and business past that I have thought about it much.

Yes there is much to life. Rain, sun, plants, bugs, animals, crop failures and successful crops. There are silly games to be played, times for serious thinking. There are the chores to do, and then of course friends to hang out with and have fun with. There are the big things in life, and then the small.
And what about the future? What is going to happen? Who will I marry, how many children will I have? Will I be a good mother, a good wife? Am I going to marry? Will I write a book someday? Where am I going to live - what about my dream home up in the mountains with a little herd of goats and a garden? I am afraid one of my weaknesses is wondering about the future.

Time

There are lots of clocks in my grandpas office. They tick, second hand jumping, not at all simultaniously. TICK tick tick TICK. I count four of them. And I think about time.

What time is it? That was a long time ago. I don't have enough time. One time. Time to get up. What time do you want me to be there? 

Dr. Who says that time is a big ball of timey wimey... stuff. To God time must be very much like the Dr. described. He knows everything from the begining to the end. He doesn't have to wait for something to happen. It's not like a timeline that He has to wait on, He allready knows. I, on the other hand, see time quite the normal way. Like a time line, one day after the other. Can't go back, can't go forward. I forget the past, and don't know the future.

Raindrops in a Barrel

[The picture is not mine, I found it on the internet.]

I ate a soapy chocolate bar last night. It made me smile, and made my tongue curl in weird shapes.... then my brother and I drove home.

[Following a conversation about journals]

"Time is weird to think about. The past, present, future."

"What past?"

"Oh, any past, personal past, history past. Just past. 'Cuase, you wouldn't think a day would make a difference. But there are three hundred sixty-five days in a year. A lot can happen in a year. But then again, a year doesn't make much difference in the grand scheme of things.

Banana Bread, Stuffed Cabbage, and Macho Nachos

For breakfast the other day we had banana bread. We lost our own recipe so I looked for one online. This is what I found, I added some vanilla and cinnamon. I didn't have quite as many bananas as it called for, I think that's why the batter seemed kind of dry at first. I just added some milk and it fixed it right up. Everybody said it was great, I'm thinking this recipe is a keeper.  :) Click here for the recipe.

Three Stories

Happy Canary

Photo credit unknown

Under the blue sky was a hill, and on the hill a house, and in the house a table, and on a table a bird cage, and in the cage a canary, and the canary belonged to a girl who loved to hear it sing.

"Sing to me birdy" she said

So the bird sang and that song went out the cage, over the table, out the house, down the hill to a little old man who was quite sad. The man heard it and said

"Oh how beautifull that is, it sounds sweet to my great old ears."

So he went up the hill, found the house and saw the table, bird cage, bird and the little girl.

"What a sweet little bird you have there dear child." said the old man.

"Oh yes she is a darling, she sings to me every day when I aks her and makes me happy."

"Ah, it is a good thing to be happy. I am a sad old man, a little bird like that would make me happy."

"Do you like her?" the girl asked "You can have her if you like. I have had her a long time now and she has made me so happy. I am sure she could make an old man like you happy too. Take her, she is my girft to you."

So the old man did. He took the bird out of the cage and set her on his shoulder. Then he walked down the hill with his new friend singing all the way, and he was happy.

The girl watched th ean go and a warm feeling crept into her heart. She was glad she could give somebody so much joy.

Old Towns

     I like Town 1 and would like to know more about it. Across the bridge is an abandoned house. ----- and I explored it one Monday. We went down the cellar all through the house, and learned that the old pump well still worked. It gushed out brown rusty water. The windows are busted out and a good part of the walls. The roof had caved in in several places and there was debris all over the floor. It was not too old because it had electricity but I still walked lightly for fear the floor would fall through. None of the rest of our party would join us so we were the only ones that went. What made Town 1 "untown" itself? Where is the mill and the school house? Just imagine this little Town 1 was real once. People used those sidewalks, worked at the mill, and went to school. Real people with a real life. A real history and story.
       I know Town 2 used to be a big town. It was a mining community, rather large, complete with a milliners shop. But then the mines shut down and the people started moving away. Corrupt government was its last stroke and now all that's left is buried sidewalks, flat ground where the train tracks used to be, and broken down buildings. It does have a post office and two churches one of them stands empty. There is a mostly unused park and a still standing unused (clean) out house. The houses still stand. The Winery is the only attraction. Some buildings in town have been boarded up, and a whole section of it is entirely forgotten. Our church used the park once for a picnic and I believe that is the only action its had for years.

      Town 3 has some interesting history, ----- has told me a lot about it. He can even point out certain buildings that had something important to do with the War Between the States. I've seen some old houses that still have slave quarters and a separate entrance for them. I don't remember much of what he said but I do know the impression; he is smart! And determined it must have taken a lot of work to learn all that, and he's traced his family history far back. Our friends own a jewelry shop in Town 3. The store is in the building an old bar used to be.

A Funny Thing At Work

     At work two Fridays ago when we were eating dinner I noticed a funny thing. There were four of us, three lady's and one man. Casey, Mrs. Debbie, and I each got a plate and fork, got our pizza and sat down to eat it. Mr. Garry walks up picked up a piece of pizza leaned against the counter and started eating.
     Later on Garry, usually mellow, walks towards the front room chanting to himself while doing a little dance "coffee, coffee, coffee." Mr. Garry is an older man with a full beard of grey, wears glasses, and talks quietly.