Monday, December 1, 2014

From Here to There Incredible Things are Everywhere...

Come with me back to 2010. I am standing outside with a pair of rubber boots I threw on - no socks of course. It is January and I grabbed my huge white coat that makes me look like a walking marshmallow. I didn't zip it up so instead I hug myself stuffing my hands in my pockets, keeping the cold at bay. I stand ankle deep in fresh clean snow. Up in the sky I watch my breath float away towards the gorgeous full moon. The light of the moon is so bright that no stars can be seen for at least one outstretched-hand-length away and when the light hits the snow it lights up the whole field almost as bright as day. I can see the Milky Way. The sky is black as tar. The sounds I hear are comforting. A pack of coyotes yip and scream as the hunt in the night. Owls talk. Chickens murmur and cluck softly. I walk into the driveway and admire the beautiful snowflakes on the hoods of our suburban, truck, water trailer. They are incredible. I turn back towards the house and head inside. By this time I can't feel my toes. Our blue Christmas lights have faded since we put them up last year. Icicles hang from the roof.



Now, step back into the present. It's December. I am sitting on the short flower bed wall, bare feet planted firmly on our concrete sidewalk. Above me the moon shines as always but I can't see the Milky Way. No coyotes are to be heard closing in on the kill, and there are no owls or chickens. Instead, I hear the soft hum of our next door neighbors blow up reindeer carousel. I hear a train, and cars driving on the highway. Above are helicopters. Permeating it all is Christmas music from about half a mile down the road.  "Rockin' around the Christmas tree..." Two houses in our area have a Christmas light display and they both play music. One all night and the other is motion sensor for only when people actually visit. One charges five dollars and the other is free.

My life is very different from what it used to be. It's like two completely different worlds. I lived (am living) two completely separate lives. (Well three actually) But they're inherently connected! Not only has my physical surroundings changed, from forty acres of land way out in the boondocks, where we had no city water and we had special clothes set aside for trips to town, to a house with a yard (I hear its considered big) in the county with neighbors, a bike path and a military base; but our family has changed too.

My big brother has been moved out for almost four years now I think. My little brother has been working six month jobs away from home two years in a row now. We're adopting four more boys and I'm trying to get into college. Dad no longer works on his computer in the local doughnut shop in town or in the library either. He doesn't even work from home now. He flies out to Miami and works an office job. In a real office. Going even further back, it's changed from misery to peace. (Even if I still do get stressed.)

Yesterday I was thinking a lot of what used to be and thinking on what is going to be. Its kind of scary. And pretty amazing. Sometimes all I can do is just sit in awe and wonder. Does anybody really have a smooth transition and all their life flows from one year to the next? Does anyone else look back at their life almost like a spectator and feel disconnected and yet somehow feel like they're living it all over again?

God brought me here without me realizing how or even exactly why.

I wonder where He will take me next. How long will it take to get there? 

1 comment:

  1. I'm in awe too. So many changes in so little time.

    ReplyDelete

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