Monday, September 10, 2012

Saying Goodbye

This past week has been stressful. It is my last week here in Missouri. I am flying out to Arizona to stay there for about a week. I will leave my dog with my grandparents since we can't take her with us to Belize. Here is a compilation of my facebook status's that relate to the topic of saying goodbye.

August 31, 2012
Looking forward to some fun with my piano teacher! I'm going over to her house today to play some duets, talks, just have fun. :) Oh boy, time is flying. Its getting closer. Working on saying goodbye.

August 31, 2012
Driving in the rain today I watched the leaves fall, the wind blow. This world is beautiful. Especially my little corner of it. Familiar places, lovely faces. It's time to make a new home. I'm starting to say good bye.

September 5, 2012
I sweep out crumbs from the floor of the truck. Crushed animal crackers, stale french fries, some cheerios. I said goodbye to my piano teacher today.
I'm going to miss her. :( The chickens cluck and scratch around at my feet. A crumb lands on a hens head and she blinks in surprise. Mrs. Julie had tears in her eyes. "I love you." "Love you too." She gave me a goodbye present, two new piano books. She made me promise not to play them until I got to Belize. The sky is blue, fluffy white clouds, the sun is shining and the wind blows. It's a beautiful day. My baby brother walks up, hugging his bottle in his arms. "Hi ------." I smile. Last time I said goodbye to a piano teacher was about eight years ago. I cried myself to sleep two nights in a row. I didn't cry this time. It's hot out and little beads of sweat decorate the tip of my baby brother's nose. We're getting ready to go to my great grandmas. It's her birthday today, she's turning ninety-six. We're taking her out to Jose Peppers, it'll be fun. I suppose we'll say goodbye to her today too. I am looking forward to this move, I believe its what God wants us to do. Still, goodbyes are sad. When all the goodbyes are over with then I'll have time to be excited. For now I'm gloomy. Finished with my job I shut the door to the truck and head for the close line. Baby follows after. It is a beautiful day today. And I did get to hold the L---------'s newest baby. She is so sweet. :) So soft, so small.

Great Grandma with three of my siblings, my little cousin, and I.

September 6, 2012
Good day today. :) Went to see my friend and brought her some baby blankets and a few clothes plus the cutest little turtle costume you've ever seen! I am very happy for her. :) That will be the last time I see her in a long time. We'll be leaving soon. :( Anyways.... had fun goin' around running errands with Mom. AAannnd, I bought a camera!! It can take pictures under water even! I can't wait to try it out. Ohboyohboyohboy! ;)

September 7, 2012
Well now, I'll be saying my last goodbye to Missouri the middle of next week. I am hopping on a plane with my dog Dixie and headed to Arizona. Ill be dropping her off there with my grandparents as we can't take her with us to Belize. :( I'll be there about a week I think before I take another plane and meet up with the rest of my family in Indiana where we'll begin our goodbye tour. I'll have enough time in AZ to have fun with my brother and go to the church we visited last summer and spend some time with the friends we made there. Things are coming to fruition. Tomorrow night will be my last night at work, and this Sunday my last time at church. :((( Sadness!

September, 9 2012
Last night was my last night at work. It was a fairly busy night, still had a little standing around time. There was a wedding reception and my brother served the buffet. After all the customers were gone I walked around the patio, and out front. This was the last time I was going to see that place. I have enjoyed watching our friends business grow, I remember when the pizza oven was new. They ...
have really put a lot of work into that place and God has really put a lot of blessings into it. The night was cold and quiet. I went back inside and helped clean up. Dishes to wash counters to wipe off. Finally my brother and I said bye. Tears, best wishes and an email address from K-------, even more tears for Mr. G-----, a hug from M------- and I'll see you around, finger pointing up, "I mean on the other side." Oh yeah, that. I am leaving aren't I? No chance of running into anybody in town. An I'll see you tomorrow for the our friends, and my usual wave goodbye for the new employees that I haven't had time to get to know. Then we walked out the door, and just like that, I had walked out of their lives. M------- got into his car that happened to be parked next to ours. He drove behind us for a while then I turned off. It made me think it was fitting, I being the one turning off and he continued on. After all, we're the ones leaving. Saying goodbye is sad. I was quiet on the ride home. I thought to myself I am going to have to do it all over again tomorrow.
September 9, 2012
And I did do it all over again. I will miss everyone so much. Today was my last time seeing y'all. :'( You might see my family again but I am going early this week. My last day was today. I'll be leaving on Wednesday. The E-------- girls gave me a birthday present. Chocolate. ♥ MMmmm love. Conversation was stifled between the girls. Yes we're leaving. Wet eyes and looks was the main of our conversation, the words just a cover for what we were really thinking. Pictures, cards, letters, goodbye gifts, hugs, tears, bravery, goodbyes, wave of hands.

Today's sermon was about how we are Christians and why that should cause us to rejoice. We ARE the saints, we ARE God's people. We have an eternal joy that causes us to have peace even in the most un-peacful circumstances. We have a hope that the world doesn't. We are blessed. We have each other we are saints, God has chosen us, our sins are forgiven. This is so different than the sermons I grew up with. YOU ARE A SINNER shouted at you from the pulpit. YOU ARE GOING TO HELL (if you don't repent) You are worthless, you are the scum of the earth. [And yes, these things are true -except maybe the scum of the earth part- but do Christians need to be reminded of this EVERY single week?? Why not rejoice that we are NO LONGER all of that!! Rejoice that God has changed us, transformed us, and adopted us as His sons and daughters.

Pastor prayed for ever single one of our family individually. I am so loved. I am so blessed. How can I ever say thank you enough?? I love all y'all so much. My church is my family and it is hard leaving you.

The L--------'s and V----- T-----'s have done so much for us. Thank you thank you thank you. Y'all brought stability to my life in a time when I really needed it. I love you. Today, I drove away. Wednesday, I fly away.
September 10, 2012
Looking at baggage allowances.... Looks like I am going to be carrying a VERY large purse.
So there you have it. We're moving and I'm leaving early. Now, despite the general gloom that I was feeling when I wrote the bulk of these status', I am still very glad to be moving to Belize. I am confident in His plan for us and I will follow wherever He leads. Still, saying goodbye is always sad.
I'll write later more clearly about our plans. For now I'll just leave it at this. I am eager for what lies ahead but am reluctant to leave this part of my life behind.

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