Monday, November 14, 2011

Noveber 14, 2011


Howard E. ------, August 28, 1927 – November 14, 2011

Yesterday I woke either complaining about being tired, or saying good morning, I'm not sure which maybe the two in the same breath. Today I wake to heart rending sobs by the part of my Dad and the first thing out of my mouth is, "Grandpa died."


The four of us kids all get up and go to our parents bedroom. "My daddy died." is the first thing out of my dad's mouth. I sit on his bed to the left of him and bury my face in his shoulder. Not a sound comes from any of us, hot tears pour down my face. Mom rubs his back and the baby, oblivious to all, sleeps on. "Thank God he was a Christian!" Dad exclaims brokenly. "But God showed his grace, My brother Ben was there, and Christa. God gave him one last lucid moment. They all sang Jesus loves me to him and some other hymns. Dad squeezed Christa's hand tight. He recognized them and everything. The nurses says he passed peacefully"

It wasn't unexpected, we've seen it coming. But that doesn't help, it was never real to me until now, I can only think it will get even more real at the funeral.

My grandpa is gone now. Somehow I selfishly want him back. Even if he was not aware of his surroundings and not talking. Even if he didn't know anybody. But I know he is with God in Heaven now in a new and body and with a new mind. My Grandpa, my dad's dad, Grandmas husband, the baby brother to all his sisters.

Grandpa, you will be missed by many but I know you are looking down on us telling us not to worry. I don't worry I know you are having the time of your life, you are in the presence of our Heavenly Father!  But all the same I want you back, like when I was little, like last summer. Lord, give me grace so that I may pass through this time without any anger. God, give Dad strength, he's alone now.

Grandpa, you were such a great man. I love you.

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