Thursday, October 13, 2011

Matthew 14:22-33

Okay I couldn't figure how to turn this into a real, put together, thought out post, so I will just do it this way...

This is directly after Jesus fed the five thousand from the five loaves and two fish.

"And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away. And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone. But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves:
 for the wind was contrary. And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear. But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid. And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased. Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God." Matthew 14:22-33

From about the beginning of August till the end of September, September twenty-eight to be exact, I let myself wander away from God. It just came slowly on, I didn't read my Bible as often, I put my mind to vain things, I only prayed when I wanted something. It was very easy to slip back into my old ways, I had let my guard down, I thought I was doing good, that I could do it myself and it was okay to skip my time with the Lord some days.

Consequently my stress level started going up. I started thinking only of me again, I was selfish for my own ways. It was not a happy month. Finally I couldn't bare myself any longer. I was so sorry I had forgotten God. All I wanted to do was to read his Word and to commune with him again. I shut my door to my room and read and read, I repented and asked forgiveness of God for forgetting him. After my time with him I was a new person again, washed clean by his forgiving love. It is not a fun thing to forget God.

I, like Peter, had taken steps of faith out on the water. Peter literally, and I figuratively by promising to live for God and to give up myself. It took a lot of courage to take those first steps. But then Peter saw the waves and was afraid, doubting God. I was sure of myself and thought I could walk on water with my own power. Peter sank, I sank. "Lord, save me!" we both cried, and like the patient Father he is, he lifted us out of the troubles we had brought upon ourselves.

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